I finally figured out the best reason to be alive is to enjoy it.

Rita Mae Brown

Gender, Diversity and Relationship PDF Print E-mail


The Importance Of Inequality In Real Communication
Real Communication is aimed at creating an awareness of the other person’s state of being. This means that everyone concerned needs to be skilled and both talking and listening. Implicit in the process of Communication is that there are differences between   those communicating that need to be brought into consciousness or explained so that we can get along together.

There are many arenas of conflict between people in our modern so-called civilisation. One of the most ever-present is the conflict that exists between man and women in both our personal and business arenas. If we could eliminate the differences between the sexes then we could likely also eliminate what we call the War of the Sexes. To eliminate the State of War between the sexes could, perhaps should, be a long term future goal, however when we look at where we, as humans, are at this time, this is likely to remain a dream for the time being. In the practical shorter-term we need to seek ways  to make the huge energy that any War generates,  beneficial rather than malignant.  There must be acceptance of certain realities before we can move on from where we are.

Implicit in the existence of a Relationship is a state of tension. It is this tension that keeps both makes a Relationship possible and then keeps it alive. Three things need to happen. First we must accept that the state of tension is not only inevitable but eminently desirable. Second we must be willing to abandon most of what we have been taught. Third, we must be willing to learn other techniques, that will enable us to manipulate that state of tension to the advantage of all concerned. Out of that we can create an arena for Intelligent Co-operation rather than War. Third we must accept that equality between Male and Female is an unattainable fantasy. Equal pay has little to do with equality. We are simply not equal to one another and this does not mean that one or the other is in any way superior –merely different and therefore unequal. The rendering of right and proper respect, each for the other, has nothing to do with equality.

The roots of all real Power lie in Inequality and Diversity. Our strength lies in our Diversity and we need to honour this in each other. This is the power of the Gods both ancient and modern. If we look at the stories of the gods as they have been handed down to us equality was not what it was about. Each had their own powers and areas of jurisdiction.

Men and Women approach life from very different viewpoints (long may it be so!). It is only in the acceptance of this fact that Communication and sensible Relationship will become possible. Women believe that they can talk however often what they perceive as talking is seen by men as merely chatter. This imposes a responsibility on both men and women. Men need to hone their listening skills. Just because something does not make sense to them does not mean that what is being said by the woman is non-sense. Equally simply because a man does not comprehend what is being said by his woman does not make him an insensitive clod. Women need to become more aware of how they talk.

All this implies that a great deal of work needs to be done by both Men and Women if there is going to be meaningful communication in all our relationships. The wonderful thing is that the skills of both listening and talking can be learnt. There is only one requirement – everyone must be willing to make the effort! Our diversity and differences are wonderful things. Can you just imagine how boring it would be if we were all the same?

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