Christophers Blog

It is an open invitation

1. That you owe them nothing. However that does not mean that in the interest of having a good relationship there are not certain things it is clever to do. It is true that they extended a pretty general invitation by creating a body for take over by anyone whom it suited and wanted to get on with their personal game plan. The question of whether or not you feel you could give them a “tip” or “gratuity” in some form or another for creating the opportunity for you is entirely up to you.

A tip may be customary for good service and that does not make it obligatory. In reality we tend to leave a tip because it serves us by making us feel good – we feel guilty if we do not – and it has very little to do with the person who is doing the serving. It prevents us from feeling guilty and shows how generous we are. In the case of this relationship the tip would be making them feel good about themselves and you have an immense ability to do this from the moment you appear. This ability to manipulate is simply one of the many wonderful abilities that you are gifted with. Just as in the case of a restaurant that you frequent regularly it is good politics to leave a good tip. It will ensure ongoing good service and a pleasant relationship with those running the restaurant So if you want to give them a tip, feel free, but do it because you want to not because you feel you have to. Nothing that we feel we HAVE to do for someone else has that much value. It is wonderful when we do something for others because we want to – then and it seems only then will everyone experience the full value of what we do.

They Owe You!

That your deal with them is strictly one-sided. Whether they were aware of it or not the protocol requires them to do their best to support you in the fulfilment of your game plan. It is they who need to learn how to do that. Ignorance of the protocol is no excuse and will not free them from the results of failing in their stated (even if only implied) and willingly assumed task of providing you with food, shelter, education and above all else an example that is worthwhile following. All that is required of you is to be whom and what you are. The reality is that there is very little else that you can do. For quite a while your freedom of action is severely circumscribed by your physical limitations. You cannot really take on the world for quite a while and neither can you express what your desires are or what your point of view is in any really coherent way. You simply do not have the vocabulary. It can be argued that this is pretty much the state of affairs until you attain majority. Man-made laws support this idea in some way or another and while the age varies slightly from society to society we have all sorts of legal and other limitations until we do attain the age of majority. The ball for the game that you are all playing is very much in their court, not yours.  The difficulty comes when they fail or at best fall short on what they actually undertook to do. You pretty much have to simply handle whatever they throw your way and all that you have in order to do that is the scraps you picked up from them. This pretty much throws you back on your own considerable resources and fortunately you are very well equipped. So despite the fact that while it seems safe to say that the relationship between you and you parents is quite unique in that it is completely one-sided and you are in many ways on your own all is not lost. So get busy!

Posted on May 21st, 2010 by christopher
Filed under: Uncategorized